You're a leader, mama...
Exercise has always been a big part of my life. I feel good when I move. I like the post-exercise high. I know its value.
So naturally, when I had my children, I included them where I could. If they didn’t come with me, they were either watching on the sideline, or aware that mama was out exercising - whether that was going for a walk/run, going to the gym, playing sport…
One of my favourite ways to move over the last 16yrs or so, has been to climb Nikau Pā - the summit at Clevedon Scenic Reserve. Regardless of my fitness level, with a combination of bush track and 1000 steps to the top it’s always a challenge. Of course equally, theres the option to take as much time as you want - to bird watch, to check out the native fauna or just to soak it all in.
On many occasions when my kids were younger, we would venture up the hill together. My youngest has travelled the track with me many times in the back pack. I remember the youngest two walking up big chunks of that hill by themselves from the age of two.
I also remember many climbs where my frustration would overflow from the moaning of my children who didn’t want to climb. One of my kids in particular. She DESPISED walking up that hill. We would get to a certain point - possibly only 5mins in - and the announcement would come. “I’m tired mummy, I want to go home”. I would encourage, cajole, maybe even bribe... “keep going, you are doing so well!”.
It would go back and forward like this all the way to the top. We would take numerous breaks. It would be slow going. I’m sorry to say that I would often lose my rag at her. At some point I stopped trying to force her up there. She was determined not to go, and trying to force her was just too painful!
As a mum, I wondered how I would motivate her to move. To love moving… I wondered if I had failed. If all my cajoling and frustration had caused her to hate exercising for exercise sake.
Fast forward to 2023. She’s almost 18 now. Ironically, I’ve been reminded of those hill climbing days with her over the past couple of weeks. Because she is at a new phase of life. She’s the one asking me to join her on climbing the hill now. She’s the one setting the pace, and she’s the one hitting the summit 2-3 minutes before me. She’s fit and fast. I love it! It’s a full circle moment.
I recall reading a research article a few years back on the impact of mothers habits on their children. The paper stated the biggest predictor of a child growing to be an active adult, was the influence of an active mother.
Ladies, mamas, we are leaders in our homes and in our families. WE make a difference in our childrens lives by the actions we take. Our choices matter. When we prioritise our own regular movement, we role model to our children that exercise is important. For better or worse we are active leaders by the example we set.
Now, this is not intended to take any of us on a guilt trip. We can look back at our past, hold regret and get stuck there. Or, we look back, reflect and learn and grow to be the kind of leader we want to be going forward. Maybe for you it’s a case of simply needing encouragement to stay the course, to keep on with what you’re doing and to trust the process. If that’s you - you’ve got this!
If not, what needs to change in order to role-model healthier habits and self-care?
What habits have you let slide that you want to re-engage?
What habits aren’t serving you and you need to let go?
How can you keep yourself accountable to these changes you want to make?
As for me. I’m going to have to up my game. It seems I have a new challenge - to keep up with all of my kids and not get left behind on the hill. I love it!
